July 21, 2019

ROLE MODELS: HOW / WHERE DO ATHLETES FIT?

 “I am not a role model. Just because I can dunk a basket ball does not mean I can raise your kids.” Charles Barkley

 As troubles mount for Blade Runner Oscar Pistorius and Lance Armstrong’s status continues it plummet, we can use these events as a reminder to be careful in our choice of role models.  

Look at the following names and think about the good, the bad, the ugly actions for these athletes and coaches. Now look at the listed transgressions. Then insert letters (may be more than for each person) by the names. Many may get more than one letter.

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Name Letters Name Letters
Lance Armstrong   Kobe Bryant  
Tony Dungee   Lenny Dykstra  
Carlton Fisk   Dwight Gooden  
Chamique Holdsclaw   Marian Jones  
Michael Jordan   Bobby Knight  
Ray Lewis   Peyton Manning  
Mark McGuire   Joe Paterno  
Walter Payton   Michael Phelps  
Pete Rose   O J Simpson  
Pat Summit   Mante Taeo  
Tiger Woods   Mike Tyson  
Danica Patrick   Billie Jean King  
Minnie Minoso   Oscar Pistorius  

 Behaviors
A – Cocaine/Pot Use                                      
H – Illegal Performance Drugs
B – DUI / Drive under Influence                      I – Lying
C – Illegal Financial Activity                            J – Murder
D – Ignoring Crimes                                        K – Unfaithful to Partner
E – Meanness                                                 L – Sport Gambling
F – Stupidity                                                    M – Violence
G – Rape
X. So far so good, worthy of admiration What makes you believe the person stands out?

It’s easy to look towards popular culture role models, like athletes, coaches, singers, artists, celebrities, as our heroes to fill our idealistic desires. We see them; we believe because we want to and maybe we even need to believe. They compete, often win, may give to charity, and speak for social justice. Some overcome serious illness. Many, even with misdeeds, remain charismatic; they often sound great in interviews. Good sports we think, good winners and by golly our person, our hero.  

Sir Charles had it right: he is not to be our role model. Even if he lived an exemplary life we cannot know, we never know these people — only their personas.   

Admire abilities. Look for your role models closer to home. Look within your family and circle of friends.  Jim Rohn, author and motivational speaker, says, “You are the average of the five people you spend the most time with.” Be careful who you are with and let go of disappointments.

We know the goodness of our family and friends. We know that their influence on us can be enhanced through understanding their imperfections and  their humanness.  Still, be picky on your choices.

If you read It is Not About the Bike by Lance Armstrong, you can learn from it.  It would make a good book of fiction; alas Armstrong wrote it as truth.  

A good number of public figures are terrific and do good things.     Just remember you don’t really know them and probably never will.

Sir Charles was also wrong:  it seems fair for athletes and for each of us to strive to be role models for others — because that striving is also right. Some athletes and coaches are great    people; we just can’t be sure of which ones. I bet there are some in that list you really like eh?  

Well for me, Minnie Minoso, my first athletic favorite, is still (as far as I have heard) ok!

Bill

How MUCH is ENOUGH?

“Give and ye shall receive.” Luke 6:32

What is enough —money, clothes, objects, trips, on and on? Are you a spur of the moment shopper or do you plan? Is your budget in line or out of whack? What do you consider enough of anything?

Bestselling author, speaker, CEO and performance expert Tony Schwartz, in a recent Webinar, asked “what is enough?” Specifically talking about money in a poll, he asked “Do you have enough?” Two-thirds responded no.

Next question: How much would be enough? Answers varied from $250,000 to $10 million. Some who answered yes to the enough question, named a higher number than the amount they actually have.

Generally that is the case; what used to be enough is no longer. The message of society broadcasts that more is necessary.

Schwartz declares this idea of scarcity is often what drives us. This may drive deforestation, cheap labor, illegal actions or obscene salaries.

There is no evidence that more money makes us happier in the long term.

The happiness research, by Martin Seligman Director of the Positive Psychology Center at the University of Pennsylvania, makes it clear that once our basic needs of food and shelter are met money matters little as far as happiness.  Thus when those basic needs are safely met, the implication is that’s enough.

Listen to people around you talking. During these unusual times, there’s often discussion about the poor and how they will eat, those who have lost their homes. The words are about the basic needs for family.

At my church, part of the ritual gives people an opportunity to express personal joys or sorrows. Message most always relate to people…birth, death, illness, visit, move, etc; occasionally it’s job related. It is never directly about money.

So do you have enough? Whatever your answer, it is not a fact but a point of view that includes your relationship with money.

Schwartz suggests thinking about how to explain to someone making minimum wage or without a job, or the starving in Africa, that you do not have enough. Many in our country need food stamps even when employed.

According to a news report on August 17, 25% of children in the United States live in poverty. Still even those struggling in this country, compared with the famine stricken in Africa, relatively speaking, are rich.

Yes money is important, essential for basic needs. Do you crave money? Does it dictate your thoughts? Craving and getting money over time can actually can trigger chemical reactions to our body that create a high similar to that from drugs.

The more inclusive questions are: what do you desire and what do you need for feeling better about yourself?

Seligman’s happiness research suggests happiness come from the satisfaction of being productively involved.

Consider your answer to this:
From the side of giving — what is “enough sharing” of time, energy and money for those that struggle just to eat?

Evidence indicates that it may be helpful for your own well-being to actively share (enough).


Bill

LOOKING for TREASURES

How do you feel as you prepare to do something out of the ordinary? Emotions can run amuck with anticipation, trepidation, speculation and a lot more.

Muncie Public Library hosted a signing event for our children’s book, The Kite Surprise. Our book portrays a kite festival at the beach where young Celia Belle is enchanted with what her brother, Ansel, does in the kite contest.

Story Book History: 1974, Kitty Hawk, North Carolina, age 26, an amazing kite contest. My background was kite flying poverty and here I was witnessing this amazing sky filled with kites of all colors, shapes, sizes. When I came to Muncie in 1977, I rapidly heard of Ansel Toney, the kite master in Farmland.

Back to the library event: Hot weather, summertime, Saturday netted thin attendance. However we gained the greatest treasured experience when a couple walked through the doors and introduced themselves. Oren and Marge Toney — that’s right the son of the famous kite maker Ansel Toney, from Farmland, Indiana.

What a thrill when the Toneys came to the library! Oren offered tidbits of glances into the life of his father, the kite master: Interviewed by Charles Kuralt “On the Road” CBS TV show; his dad knew how to adjust and fix things; went to the 1904 World’s Fair in St. Louis.

His dad, in his mid-80s, took a 67 year old sewing machine (belonging to his wife) and learned to operate it, sewing different designed kites. Eventually the machine just wore out. The manufacturer contributed another sewing machine, but fixed the old one so Mr. Toney could have someone work with him. Oren noted that the manufacturer received a great deal of publicity from that gift.

Did Oren get kites from his dad? With a little smile and eyes twinkling, Oren reported he would go to the farm, do the work and ask for a kite in return. Dad would say “you can build one yourself” — apparently as a way to encourage the son to take up the hobby of dad. Not interested! However, wanting a kite, his wife Marge ordered a kite. When she picked it up and asked for an autograph, Ansel said “who to?” She replied to Oren; it was signed and given at no charge.

Oren continued with tales about French Military kites, Delta kites (which Ansel had a fondness for designing and flying), and the Eddy kite – the green frog kite in our book.

I was thankful that, over the years, I flew kites with my kids and grandchildren. Mostly we flew the Delta kites, those favored and popularized by Mr. Toney. These kites are easy to fly and as Oren remarked, “will stay up as long as there is wind.”

Ansel Toney loved flying kites “you are always looking up.” He was known for getting out the kite which was a sure signal for the kids to come around and enjoy the day. He considered the sky a playground, maybe his own personal one during flying.

Now think about YOUR next event, tomorrow or next week! Big or small, whatever it might be: Will you greet it with anticipation, trepidation, or speculation? We never know what’s around the corner to bring that enriching treasure of memory. Meeting Oren and Marge Toney is one of our inspiring treasures.

Remember: Always keep looking up and let your spirits soar — those gifts of life will find you if you are open to them.

Toney-Kuralt Video

See how to make the Eddy Kite

A Man and His Kite – Farmland IN

Information: The Kite Surprise

Thanks for reading. Keep the wind to your back, it’s a great stress reliever.

Bill