July 21, 2019

LOOKING for TREASURES

How do you feel as you prepare to do something out of the ordinary? Emotions can run amuck with anticipation, trepidation, speculation and a lot more.

Muncie Public Library hosted a signing event for our children’s book, The Kite Surprise. Our book portrays a kite festival at the beach where young Celia Belle is enchanted with what her brother, Ansel, does in the kite contest.

Story Book History: 1974, Kitty Hawk, North Carolina, age 26, an amazing kite contest. My background was kite flying poverty and here I was witnessing this amazing sky filled with kites of all colors, shapes, sizes. When I came to Muncie in 1977, I rapidly heard of Ansel Toney, the kite master in Farmland.

Back to the library event: Hot weather, summertime, Saturday netted thin attendance. However we gained the greatest treasured experience when a couple walked through the doors and introduced themselves. Oren and Marge Toney — that’s right the son of the famous kite maker Ansel Toney, from Farmland, Indiana.

What a thrill when the Toneys came to the library! Oren offered tidbits of glances into the life of his father, the kite master: Interviewed by Charles Kuralt “On the Road” CBS TV show; his dad knew how to adjust and fix things; went to the 1904 World’s Fair in St. Louis.

His dad, in his mid-80s, took a 67 year old sewing machine (belonging to his wife) and learned to operate it, sewing different designed kites. Eventually the machine just wore out. The manufacturer contributed another sewing machine, but fixed the old one so Mr. Toney could have someone work with him. Oren noted that the manufacturer received a great deal of publicity from that gift.

Did Oren get kites from his dad? With a little smile and eyes twinkling, Oren reported he would go to the farm, do the work and ask for a kite in return. Dad would say “you can build one yourself” — apparently as a way to encourage the son to take up the hobby of dad. Not interested! However, wanting a kite, his wife Marge ordered a kite. When she picked it up and asked for an autograph, Ansel said “who to?” She replied to Oren; it was signed and given at no charge.

Oren continued with tales about French Military kites, Delta kites (which Ansel had a fondness for designing and flying), and the Eddy kite – the green frog kite in our book.

I was thankful that, over the years, I flew kites with my kids and grandchildren. Mostly we flew the Delta kites, those favored and popularized by Mr. Toney. These kites are easy to fly and as Oren remarked, “will stay up as long as there is wind.”

Ansel Toney loved flying kites “you are always looking up.” He was known for getting out the kite which was a sure signal for the kids to come around and enjoy the day. He considered the sky a playground, maybe his own personal one during flying.

Now think about YOUR next event, tomorrow or next week! Big or small, whatever it might be: Will you greet it with anticipation, trepidation, or speculation? We never know what’s around the corner to bring that enriching treasure of memory. Meeting Oren and Marge Toney is one of our inspiring treasures.

Remember: Always keep looking up and let your spirits soar — those gifts of life will find you if you are open to them.

Toney-Kuralt Video

See how to make the Eddy Kite

A Man and His Kite – Farmland IN

Information: The Kite Surprise

Thanks for reading. Keep the wind to your back, it’s a great stress reliever.

Bill

Ten Myths of Psychotherapy

“I therefore claim to show, not how men think in myths, but how myths operate in men’s minds without their being aware of the fact.” Levi Strauss

The process of psychotherapy is full of myths related to the process. This blog examines the most popular myths and clarifies what we know about therapy.

Myth: Clients get worse in treatment before they get better.
Fact: At the start of therapy, clients are often feeling their worst. Clients should expect noticeable positive change is 3 to 6 sessions.  It is not necessary or advisable to get worse first.

Myth: Clients become resistant to treatment because they are afraid to deal with emerging unconscious material or childhood experiences.
Fact: Clients want to change and often dealing with unconscious material is not necessary.  While it may be useful for some to do that it is also the case that many move forward looking primarily for solutions.

Myth: Client problems are usually the result of a biochemical imbalance.
Fact: In spite of drug company research, there is no substantial evidence that medication is better than therapy in changing lives. There is  evidence over the last 50 years that people who get therapy are better off than 8 of 10 people that do not receive therapy.

Myth: The appropriate diagnosis is essential for effective treatment.
Fact: Diagnosis is applied inconsistently does not correctly predict techniques to use or length of stay. What’s important for therapy is client – therapist agreement on goals and using an approach to the problem that makes sense to the client.

Myth: The clinician can change the client’s behavior with the proper techniques.
Fact: The client – clinician relationship, as viewed by the client, is the number one predictor of outcome of therapy. Only the client can change his/her behavior.  Techniques must fit with a client’s view of change. There are now over 400 different therapy techniques available. If your clinician can not find one or two that fit with you, find another clinician.

Myth: Client’s who pay directly for services benefit more in therapy.
Fact: Regardless of whether services are direct pay, insurance pay or no charge, research over the last 50 years is clear that clients
benefit from therapy.

Myth: If the clinician feels empathic towards the client an alliance is formed.
Fact: Ultimately an alliance is formed when a client determines it is formed. While empathy is often useful, it is more important to work with a therapist that fits with your needs in a broader context.

Myth: The most charismatic therapists get the best outcomes.
Fact: Therapists that have good and trusting relationships with clients, and trust that the clients can improve, have the best outcomes. Some of the most effective therapists are not charismatic. It is worth noting that there is dramatic difference in therapist ability.

Myth: Clients always know what they need.
Fact: Wouldn’t that be nice? Frequently   knowing or learning what one needs is a series of mental and behavioral experiments. The learning comes from talking or actions  the client tries, often secondary to the therapeutic interactions.

Myth: A good therapist always intuitively knows what their clients need.
Fact: A good therapist nurtures hope with clients and works with their needs. Finding and using reasonable hope is a prerequisite of effective therapy.

If you would  like more information on mental health and therapy, please contact my office: 765.288.7939 or use the contact form at www.solutiontherapycenter.com.